Tracing Tracks

Staring at the majestically sinewy track,

A restive follower dropped his empty sack.

Glancing at the uncommonly wide-eyed crack,

Commoners dropped him nothing to stack.


The world is semi-permeable to the questioning gaze,

Asking some to beg more and seldom laze,

Answers to life are gravely set ablaze,

As buildings of doubt are set to raze.


He showed no grace with a grieving heart,

Relaxing his muscles to do his part,

His life starts with an open heart,

To the foibles of the world in a heavy cart.


The ashes with the winds are blowing,

Of all things dead and thoughts glowing,

Charred to the depths of the soul flowing,

The ashes are set in a handsome bowing.


The eyes of the passers ineffectively looked,

Going about their chores blindly hooked.

There isnโ€™t the usual irritant beseechingly booked,

Inflicting his squint on their plans cooked.


48 responses

  1. Brilliant photography both by ‘words’ and by ‘camera’!


    April 2, 2011 at 9:01 am

    • Thanks Saugraamzindagi,glad you like the picture:)

      April 8, 2011 at 1:50 am

  2. Sam373

    Masterfully penned.

    April 2, 2011 at 10:50 am

  3. This is a really interesting rhyme form – enjoyed it very much.

    April 4, 2011 at 1:52 am

  4. Staring at the majestically sinewy track,

    A restive follower dropped his empty sack.

    Glancing at the uncommonly wide-eyed crack,

    Commoners dropped him nothing to stack…

    love it, perfect job.

    Bless you…

    April 4, 2011 at 2:10 am

  5. “his life starts with an open heart”

    I liked that line, life can be so much and does too much to us, and the heart takes it all in.

    Enjoy the rally!

    April 4, 2011 at 3:08 am

  6. I want to congratulate you on being chosen for Poem of the week. You have a way with words! Brilliant!

    April 4, 2011 at 4:17 am

  7. oh this is so brilliant!

    April 4, 2011 at 5:16 am

  8. Awed by your thoughts and words on the photo ๐Ÿ™‚

    April 4, 2011 at 5:33 am

  9. Jessica

    The words fit that image very well. Great use of rhyming too, for a serious message.

    April 4, 2011 at 8:18 am

  10. Outstanding write…I also agree with Saugraamzindagi’s comment.

    April 4, 2011 at 2:23 pm

    • Thanks David, glad you like it and the picture:)

      April 8, 2011 at 2:14 am

  11. Congrats on poem of the week and this one is even more wonderful. Thank you!

    Musing by Moonlight
    Into the Bardo

    April 4, 2011 at 6:10 pm

    • Thanks a lot Jamie! glad you like my poems:)

      April 8, 2011 at 2:16 am

  12. rhyme more! encore! rhyme more! encore! clap! clap! clap!:) my potluck vish..

    April 5, 2011 at 7:31 am

  13. fabulous poem. wonderful and very touching.


    April 5, 2011 at 3:09 pm

  14. i enjoyed your verse quite a bit…the picture itself is very telling…

    April 6, 2011 at 2:30 am

  15. Pulled my heart out to the many sitting on the street, those left to beg and plea for coin from the oft-uncaring passersby. Moving. Quite moving. A thoughtful and well-struck piece.

    April 6, 2011 at 4:11 am

  16. Congratulation on poem of the week. Good job. Thanks for your contribution.

    Musing by Moonlight
    Into the Bardo

    April 6, 2011 at 7:35 am

  17. Great poem. I especially enjoyed the last stanza and the picture is poignant. It’s always nice to be understood. Nice to meet you ๐Ÿ™‚

    April 6, 2011 at 4:20 pm

  18. Again, wonderful rhyming .The image and the poem has a wonderful connection..liked it

    April 7, 2011 at 1:34 am

  19. Congratulations on another well written poem.

    April 7, 2011 at 1:59 am

  20. The picture bring this poem to another height.. Well-penned..

    April 7, 2011 at 5:51 am

  21. picturesque in every sense..

    April 7, 2011 at 7:21 am

  22. Liked how vivid your poem was, could almost visualise what you were trying to say. However, felt the rhyming was forced.

    If I may give you a suggestion, please join writing forums online, like Caferati and Shakespeare and Co, and you can get excellent critique of your work.

    April 7, 2011 at 7:35 am

  23. Julian Javier the Cyber Mushroom

    as always, i love the rhyming in your work! keep it up! you are amazing! i loved the last stanza!

    btw, please check mine too: “Beyond Silent Wars”

    April 7, 2011 at 9:36 am

  24. Awesome. You are a great poet!


    April 7, 2011 at 11:20 pm

  25. ..please visit poets who are here, but you did not reach initially, thanks, we call it return favors, part of the rule,
    bless your Friday.


    April 8, 2011 at 2:08 pm

  26. passionately written… i can tell you put a lot of thought into it. words flowing

    April 8, 2011 at 2:39 pm

  27. Moving ,Poignant write- could identy with it, and that image too speaks a million words .

    April 9, 2011 at 10:45 am

  28. wow! you do have an amazing sense of rhyme my friend! was noticeable last rally too ๐Ÿ˜€ well thought and put out too ๐Ÿ™‚ cheers!

    Rally Week 41 – My Poetry

    April 9, 2011 at 11:19 am

  29. Ouch, that hurt for sure!

    Thumbs up!!!

    Have a great weekend ahead.

    April 9, 2011 at 8:32 pm

  30. I love how well and fast this flows and the imagery. The visual adds even more to the written word. Thanks for sharing with us.

    You might like to see my blog if you like poetry and more inspiration, I do it for the love of writing and to aid fellow poets in their writing endeavors!

    May 14, 2011 at 5:22 am

  31. Your words work so well with your image it is a great job and so well done. I totally enjoyed reading this thank you and happy picnic

    September 20, 2011 at 1:33 am

  32. nice one vishwas.. i always lke your rhymes.. something i find it hard to gooseberry..

    September 20, 2011 at 5:44 am

  33. Fantastic write! Looks like everyone liked it, and you tired of answering so many comments! Nicely done!

    September 20, 2011 at 9:00 pm

  34. amazing piece..
    Thanks for sharing…

    September 21, 2011 at 2:38 am

  35. This opens opens the eyes for sure to the world around us… Thank you, much appreciated, WS

    December 20, 2011 at 1:22 am

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