FOOD FOR HEARTY MINDS

Motioning Destiny

You strike with a subliminal force that would defy,

Staring me in my face as you vividly imply,

‘Take me if thy soul quenches in a cry,

And melts with the agony of a fate so scorchingly dry’.

.

As the sands of time make patterns adrift,

You can change its path making inroads so swift,

Dealing blows to my mind in a gruelling rift,

That weighs down in turmoil with the impulsive shift.

.

I cede to the reins of my train of thought,

As tracks plot their journeys to change my lot,

I halt you dead in your track in a fearsome knot,

Adding fuel to my mind that seems fraught in a clot.

.

‘Twould need feline grace to fill my voids with lace,

Lest I miss my chance by a whisker of space,

A hair’s breadth counts in almost ev’ry race,

As my mind craves for space at a better pace.

.

Ev’ry dot speaks to create a bigger picture,

I thus train my mind in a valiant fit of composure,

Connecting dots that would define the breadth of my future,

With a monumental frame that would complete the picture.
.

.
Published in ‘The Copperfield Review’:Motioning Destiny

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32 responses

  1. Thats outstanding description…and well portrayed giving a clear picture of your poetic sense…ahh alas i liked the way u write this….

    November 30, 2010 at 4:55 pm

    • Thanks dude! Will read your first few posts in a while..

      December 1, 2010 at 10:39 am

  2. Hi!

    Thank you for stopping by my site..;)

    I’m surprised you actually compose poems! I reckon you must be someone who imagine things a lot:) Anyway, keep up what you love doing!

    Cheers!

    jOrie

    December 1, 2010 at 1:55 am

    • Thanks!I was just checking out random posts on blog exchange when I liked what you’d posted:)
      Ya,i love composing poems:)Thanks for your support..

      December 1, 2010 at 10:44 am

  3. moondustwriter

    I like the strength and severity of your words. Each line with a statement to make

    So glad to have you as a visitor to One Stop

    hope you join us for One Shot Wednesday where people share their work – it will also be the last time for submissions that will then be eligible for the anthology we are publishing

    Hope to see you there posting starts Tues 5pm EST

    December 18, 2010 at 3:15 am

    • Thanks:)You guys are doing a great job at ‘One Stop Poetry’.It’s an honour and pleasure to join in on Tuesday.

      December 19, 2010 at 2:19 am

  4. Glory

    Very nice! I ‘like’ it. =)

    December 18, 2010 at 1:42 pm

  5. “‘Twould need feline grace to fill my voids with lace,”

    love that line.

    December 20, 2010 at 1:20 am

  6. moondustwriter

    So glad to have you here my friend

    reading again took a whole new shape – but then I guess destiny changes from day to day

    feel welcome anytime
    we are also always looking for people interested in being featured on our site

    Moonie smiles

    December 22, 2010 at 12:19 am

    • Feels great to be part of it,in the final week..:)Wish i had known about it earlier though..I would love to be featured on your site, really an honour!Thanks!

      December 22, 2010 at 4:27 pm

  7. That was lovely Vishwas.

    December 22, 2010 at 10:05 am

  8. Interesting in shape and substance. The repetition of the rhyme for four lines really emphasizes the meanings of each of the stanzas. Welcome to @onestoppoetry and thank you for posting. Thank you.

    December 22, 2010 at 4:41 pm

  9. Melting the agony of fate… you had me into the poem from the start. I find it difficult to rhyme the same sound in stanzas, and think you do a great job. Powerful poem. Much depth to consider in the lines and between them. Cheers, Vishwas

    December 22, 2010 at 5:40 pm

    • Destiny is an abstract term.Thanks for the feedback Dustus:)

      December 24, 2010 at 4:37 pm

  10. nice to meet you Vishwas
    i enjoyed the powerful choice of words in your poem – lots of nice lines – my favs were..Ev’ry dot speaks to create a bigger picture..

    December 22, 2010 at 6:10 pm

    • Nice to meet you too.Connecting those dots meticulously is paramount.Thanks:)

      December 24, 2010 at 4:45 pm

  11. i loved the rhyme sequences in this poem…a very well written piece..thanks for sharing and welcome to One Stop…pete

    December 23, 2010 at 4:53 pm

    • Feels good to meet poets and fellow writers.Thank you:)

      December 24, 2010 at 4:49 pm

  12. Jingle

    As the sands of time make patterns adrift,

    You can change its path making inroads so swift,

    Dealing blows to my mind in a gruelling rift,

    That weighs down in turmoil with the impulsive shift…

    brilliant, rocking talent here.
    thanks for sharing..

    A++

    January 11, 2011 at 3:55 am

  13. love the rhyming vishwas.. here’s mine for this new year potluck.. http://fiveloaf.wordpress.com/2010/03/15/life/

    January 11, 2011 at 4:08 pm

  14. I hope it hears the call…nice write!
    http://lynnaima.wordpress.com/

    January 25, 2011 at 5:50 pm

  15. welcome join us tonight at Jingle Poetry Potluck, have fun!
    Thanks for the inspirations and dedications..link in your entries NOW..

    Happy Writing!

    😉

    January 31, 2011 at 2:50 am

  16. Love this poem.
    The sands of time make patterns drift…
    great blog space.

    February 17, 2011 at 1:20 pm

  17. A lovely poem filled with depth and rhythm – thank you for sharing this!

    September 18, 2011 at 4:06 pm

  18. Lots of wonderful lines and imagery here. I like the way you’ve connected the dots here 🙂

    September 18, 2011 at 6:38 pm

  19. fabulous use of rhyme.takes a lot of discipline.

    September 19, 2011 at 11:15 am

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